Getting Attention and Getting the Job Done (The Art of Ride Height)

Those who read our posts realize the theme rather quickly: pickup trucks are meant to be used. There is a fine line between taking care of your truck by spending money on it and turning your truck into something that it was never meant to be - an attention getter (1:13). We realize that a lot of the nation out there doesn't always read our commentary, so we always try to give you some entertaining pictures to look at. If you decide to read today's post, it's about how you can raise or lower your truck for both right and wrong reasons.

Now, we have all seen a lifted truck or two. The reason to lift a truck is for it to perform better off-road. If you see a lifted truck with chrome wheels, you should ask yourself, what's the utility of chrome wheels in mud? I have researched this question thoroughly (I ask it much more than I would like to), and I have come to this conclusion: there isn't any. Chrome wheels perform just as well off-road as rims without a shiny "look at me" finish. It is mind boggling but true.

Okay, so what do you ask yourself when you see a truck like this?



























What the heck is a Harley sticker doing on a school bus?! Well, maybe your first thought was different. Here are the rest of my thoughts: this truck cannot go off-road because it does not have a suspension lift; it has a body lift (one of the reasons it looks so ridiculous), and it probably weighs 10,000 pounds. This truck would still be great for pulling a large trailer, except it has a cap on the bed and therefore no fifth-wheel capability. It would be great for hauling stuff if it had a built-in loading platform so you could reach the bed from the ground. It would be great for carrying people (like a school bus) except that it has two seats. So what is it great for? Well, it got me to stop at this used car lot and take a picture!

I will rarely use a Dodge as an example, but here's a lifted truck that could actually go off-road if it ever wanted to (or needed to in the case of a zombie attack):

This is a Dodge Ram Power Wagon (from back in the day before Ram disowned Dodge or whatever). It is a factory off-road package (with a Hemi!). The truck has plenty of ground clearance with this lift, and it has black wheels that look tasteful without begging for your attention. The truck is not so high that you couldn't pull a trailer with it (although it is too high for most parking garages).

Now we'll explore the other end of the spectrum. Why would anyone want to lower a truck? The only reason we could find besides racing in NASCAR's Camping World Truck Series is, you guessed it, for attention. Here's what I'm talking about:

The only reason anyone would put big rig chrome wheels with low profile tires onto their lowered dually is to get attention. In this truck's defense, the colored parts of the front right quarter panel and tailgate appear to be from a full truck decal. If your truck is for "business," then getting attention is part of its job. But if you're just taking your amigos to Chick-fil-a (as I verified the case to be here) then you've got another thing coming.

Besides, if your truck is for business, it will get more attention with an animal print pattern - this is why women's lingerie is more likely to be zebra striped than white with chrome:

To quickly revisit the utility of lowering a truck, if you for some reason raced your truck on a track, it would be a good idea. Or, if you race your S-10 Xtreme down the interstate, lowering the truck will help it make those last minute lane changes without warning. That was this guy's plan:

...and look how it turned out for him. Tasteful and certainly not overdone. This is a true high performance machine. I was lucky to capture a picture considering the speed at which it was traveling.

Real Show Trucks

Now that we've taken care of some issues, we'll take some time to appreciate a few of America's nicest trucks. Now, we have talked about "show trucks" before (and trust us, we've seen plenty of good ones since then), but it's a breath of fresh air to see some real show trucks. The best show trucks are old trucks that are tired of doing work (if your truck hasn't paid its dues it does NOT need to have chrome wheels on it), and some of the most beautiful ones are hidden in the mountains of north Georgia. Here's a nice selection from a recent car show:

It's a rat rod and it still has more in its bed than a Maryland truck!

I believe this beautiful Ford won Best In Show (not just for the trucks!).

Here's a nice Chevy.

This is the oldest Dodge truck still on the road (that was a joke, although this is a Dodge).

A very cool old Ford. Please note that the newest of all these trucks is roughly 40 years old. That means that maybe in about 2050 your Ram Megacab will be a cool looking truck! Unfortunately, we will have no more gasoline then, and those of us left alive after World War III will be fighting for the land that remains after the ice caps melt. "Yeah, it's got a Hemi."

How (and How Not) to Tell the World You Are a Redneck with Your Pickup

In my last post I said that there is no such thing as a redneck from New Jersey. While I still stand by my assertion, it has, of late, been challenged.

You see, I was driving through a parking lot the other day when I saw a white Dodge—erm Ram—with a red “REDNECK” sticker on the tailgate. Now that alone was not surprising. There are, of course, plenty of rednecks that drive “goat trucks”, as I've heard them affectionately called. Similarly, it doesn't seem out of character for a Ram owner to want to tell the world how "country" he is. What was surprising was that below that aforementioned sticker was a license plate from the not-so-great-state of New Jersey:

Now I don’t know enough about this guy to say that he is not a redneck—really, I know nothing about him. But I can imagine that he is a bit insecure if he has to tell the world that he is a redneck with a sticker. It’s kind of like giving yourself a nickname: you just don’t do it. Being a redneck should be self-evident, but if it isn’t, then there are plenty of other ways to tell the world you are a redneck with a bit more tact.

They include the classic “3” license plate:

After all, what better way to show the world you’re a redneck than proclaiming your love for the redneck Christ-figure (Editor's Note: a true redneck would never compare Dale Earnhardt to Jesus...at least until he was a few drinks in).

You can also plaster the “Stars and Bars” on your truck:

(Editor's Note: this is not recommended in most areas unless you don't care about your paintjob.)

If you feel the need to put words on your truck, there are certain decals that say “Redneck” in subtler terms:

The simplest way, though, is to not put stickers on your truck at all, and instead to let your truck be its own redneck emblem:

Working with a Pickup Truck 101

Now that Jake has returned and we've both had plenty of time to capture some of Pickup Nation's greatest pickups, the time has come for another lesson. This lesson is simple: how to do work (and how NOT to do work) with your pickup truck. I will try to make this as clear as possible, but please send us any questions or concerns you have after reading this. This is very important.

How to do work:

If a tree falls on your tailgate, make the tree your tailgate.

How not to do work:

Tailgate extenders: God's gift to morons.

How to do work:

I don't know what the hell this guy does (other than "making ends meet"), but it's definitely work.

How not to do work:

Cool man. I bet your girlfriend loves it...oh you don't have one? Hmmm.

How to do work:

There's nothing wrong with using your tarp as a bed cover...

How not to do work:

...but there is something wrong with using your tarp as a bed cover and using your pickup as a trailer. For your Jeep.

How to do work:

Work trucks can be very useful...

How not to do work:

...but they can also be rendered useless.

How to do work:

Driving your Silverado on train tracks is cool...

How not to do work:

...pulling a train with your Silverado is not.

Questions?

The Return of Jake

It has been a while! I’m back though, and Zack has promised to post after I do, so I need to get something up. I’ve moved, and so has Zack, and we’re both convinced that we live in a better area for capturing great pickups. But let's get to it…

In my travels over the last few months I’ve capture pictures of a few real winners, but I don’t want to spoil you and dump them all on one post. Seeing as how the 4^th of July was a scant week ago, and PN didn’t post anything related to ‘merica, I think we're overdue for an ‘merican pride post.

Let’s start with this truck from the great state of New Jersey:

Now, the flag mural is a fairly common design on trucks. What makes this truck special is its chrome taillight protectors. The trash bag flapping in the wind holding who knows how many dead bodies is a nice touch. While there aren’t rednecks in NJ as far as I know, this truck would be at home on the turnpike, I think.

The next truck is one that I first saw a few days ago but was unable to capture in all of its glory until today. This truck is parked outside an auto repair ship, so I’m going to assume that it belongs to someone who works there. Anyways, this may be one of the best trucks that we have found in the short 6 month life of PN:

And that’s just the back end; check out the front:

This guy has accessorized the shit out of this thing, but undoubtedly what makes this truck a PN Hall of Famer is its paint job. Incredible. Not surprisingly, the driver is a Dale and Dale Jr. fan. I challenge anyone to find a more patriotic truck.