"Maryland Trucks"

Maryland is a very confused state. South of the Mason-Dixon Line, yet still a Union state, Maryland seems still to struggle with its identity today. Perhaps Maryland's struggle with its identity has led Maryland's citizens to struggle with their own identities. Ask any Maryland native if he is from the South, and he will assure that he is. To prove this point, many Marylanders drive what Zack and I have dubbed “Maryland Trucks”.

You see, Marylanders are frustrated that many consider them part of the North, which we associate with the educated intellectual class. Marylanders like to think of themselves as rugged, country southerners, and indeed there are some Marylanders that are as country as anyone. However, the majority of Marylanders live in the DC area and are not country at all. It is the the urban ones, though, that are the most likely to drive the "Maryland Truck" to compensate for their apparent lack of “ruggedness”. I present to you the “Maryland Truck”:

And again:

Always a four-dour heavy duty, sometimes a dually, and always with a cap. You see, in suburbia, a cap just makes sense. It's practical. That’s why so many suburbanites drive station wagons and minivans. But none of these men would be caught dead in a station wagon or minivan, so instead, they buy the biggest truck they can and put a cap on it. Practical. Just like four dour super-cabs. Everyone knows that a proper truck has two doors—maybe four if they’re suicide doors. But these trucks, again in the interest of practicality, have four real doors. It's very useful for driving the kids to soccer practice. Practical.

You see, Maryland doesn’t want to give up its Southern heritage. Despite the fact that they never seceded from the Union and that most people in Maryland live near one of the largest metropolitan areas in the U.S. they still drive very very big trucks.

Our personal favorite in this category is this one:

Now this truck could easily have won the “Most Compensating” category that Zack just posted about, but instead it finds its place here. A dually with a cap? Really? And just what are you pulling on that itty-bitty hitch ball that requires a dually? Your jet ski? But the spikes on the rims really set this one apart. “Don’t mess with this guy,” they say. And of course it has a cap. Practical.