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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How (and How Not) to Tell the World You Are a Redneck with Your Pickup

In my last post I said that there is no such thing as a redneck from New Jersey. While I still stand by my assertion, it has, of late, been challenged.

You see, I was driving through a parking lot the other day when I saw a white Dodge—erm Ram—with a red “REDNECK” sticker on the tailgate. Now that alone was not surprising. There are, of course, plenty of rednecks that drive “goat trucks”, as I've heard them affectionately called. Similarly, it doesn't seem out of character for a Ram owner to want to tell the world how "country" he is. What was surprising was that below that aforementioned sticker was a license plate from the not-so-great-state of New Jersey:


Now I don’t know enough about this guy to say that he is not a redneck—really, I know nothing about him. But I can imagine that he is a bit insecure if he has to tell the world that he is a redneck with a sticker. It’s kind of like giving yourself a nickname: you just don’t do it. Being a redneck should be self-evident, but if it isn’t, then there are plenty of other ways to tell the world you are a redneck with a bit more tact.
They include the classic “3” license plate:


After all, what better way to show the world you’re a redneck than proclaiming your love for the redneck Christ-figure (Editor's Note: a true redneck would never compare Dale Earnhardt to Jesus...at least until he was a few drinks in).

You can also plaster the “Stars and Bars” on your truck:

(Editor's Note: this is not recommended in most areas unless you don't care about your paintjob.)

If you feel the need to put words on your truck, there are certain decals that say “Redneck” in subtler terms:



The simplest way, though, is to not put stickers on your truck at all, and instead to let your truck be its own redneck emblem:



1 comment:

  1. That flag on the one truck is not the stars and bars. thats the battle flag. two different things

    ReplyDelete