Tool Boxes Revisited

Many moons ago I wrote a post about tool boxes - they're like trunks for trucks! And I stated that while a cap, or camper shell, might look good on a smaller truck or a Northern (I'll say Yankee) full-size truck, they just don't fly down South. (Toolboxes, on the other hand, can help you "fly" quite literally, as this guy showed us.) And some Yankees too have come to the realization that tool boxes look better than caps (Who can forget the Michigander with two boxes instead of a cap?) Well, today's post is just a friendly reminder that things haven't changed.

Here's a "slim" tool box that looks great in a "Sunburst Orange" Ram (fun fact: this truck is a 2009 model, as the Sunburst Orange Pearl Coat was available from 2007-2009, with 2009 being the only current-style year to offer this color - and who says we don't care about Rams?):

Heck, we even support unorthodox tool box placement over caps. If it makes sense, do it (unless that means buying a PLV - don't make too much sense, please!) And we LOVE big racks, so when we see a beauty like this it makes us proud:

But there is an option we disapprove of even more than a capped bed...that's when the owner can't make a decision! I never thought I would see more than one of these in my life...

 ...but apparently there are two people in the Nation who think it's a great idea to have a tool box AND a cap. Gentlemen, please. At least the first guy's setup actually fit on his bed:

Another Post about "Truck Art"

Here at the Nation, we've done a number of posts in the past highlighting some of the best "Truck Art" in the nation. We've got conflicted feelings about Truck Art. Sometimes it looks great like the now famous 'Merican Truck or the classic Wounded Warriors Truck. But more often than not, the artists are not so gifted. What you get, instead of a beautiful, well-coordinated piece of rolling artwork is a tacky hodgepodge of bumper stickers, decals, and chrome. Like a 12-year-old's bedroom, these trucks are scatterbrained and often reflect the fluctuation of hormone levels. I'm talking about trucks like this one:

Guess what the other side says. (Hint: it's not "Defense".)

We see a lot of military themed Truck Art here at the Nation. What we've found is that military art rarely looks good on a truck. However, even more rarely does it look as bad as this:

Now I'm not trying to detract from this Purple Heart winner's service, but this Artilleryman seems to be confused. After all, a Chinook cannot lift a 28 Ton Paladin.

This Cavalryman is proud of his heritage:

And this guy has illusions of grandeur:

Actually, he's neither speeding nor qualifying. He is waiting for the light to turn green so that he can make his way home from the grocery store.

My personal favorite, though, is this little guy:

I have a feeling that these children will be scarred for life.

Look, I'm not saying that all truck art is bad. But the above examples are tacky at best. What we really need is a well coordinated effort. I'm waiting to see this on the tailgate of a Chevy:

Wouldn't that be the ultimate American Truck?

Highway Rules

Greetings, faithful readers of Pickup Nation! Although I no longer own a pickup truck (I prefer to say that I am "between trucks"), I feel that I can still contribute at least a small amount to the welfare of the Nation, especially in matters regarding vehicles other than pickup trucks.

There is currently a widespread crisis on America's highways. I have been trying desperately to determine if pickup trucks are more a part of the problem or a part of the solution. The problem is that here in these United States, on our beautiful divided highways, drivers are not driving in the correct lane! At first you may ask, "There is a correct lane on the highway?" Yes! Of course there is! And if you are one of those people who asked the question, the answer is easy for you to remember: the right lane! Right is right. Allow me to explain.

In this country we drive on the right side of the road. This means that on highways, the entry ramps are typically on the right side (away from oncoming traffic). This means that the absolute slowest moving vehicles are positioned the farthest to the right on the roadway. They have to be. Thus, the right lane is the lane where we enter and exit the highway. It is the default lane.

So if the right lane is the right lane, what is the left lane for? Well, it just happens to be the one that's "left" for passing vehicles that are moving more slowly than we would like to be moving. This is how the whole system of a four-lane divided highway works. It's as simple as that. This brings me to the problem: some drivers' default lane is the left lane!

I know what you're going to ask: what's the big deal if I drive in the left lane and you have to pass me on the right instead of the other way around? Here's the big deal. You're driving more slowly than me in the left lane. I go to pass you in the right lane. All of a sudden, there is a car on the right that is going slower than both of us - it could be a stopped car, a car that is entering or exiting, or just a car driving at or below the speed limit in the right lane. Now I, who am driving faster than you to pass you, have to deal in some way with a car that is going even slower than you are! This is not safe for any of us!

I hope this makes sense. It's supposed to be more logical than emotional. Slowest vehicles to the right, fastest vehicles to the left. That's it. And now, some violators in pickup trucks:

Please help us to keep the Nation safe on the highways. Stay to the right except to pass. Besides, it's no fun to get passed on the right side anyway.

A Farewell to Vidalia

This is a sad day for Pickup Nation. As a founding father, it greatly saddens and embarrasses me to announce the recent ending of my relationship with someone very special to me - my one and only pickup truck, Vidalia. Although Jake and I have rarely mentioned our own trucks (boring and functional as they are...or were), I would like to take this opportunity to celebrate my memories with Vidalia.

I got Vidalia in the summer of 2009 and drove her 40,000 miles until last weekend, when I sold her. Vidalia helped at least two women to fall for me with her large bench seat, and she also saw them both out the door. I estimate that I fed her at least 2500 gallons of gasoline (strange to think that three years' worth of gasoline is worth most of what she is...not counting sentimental value).

Vidalia traveled to at least eleven states with me, and she got me only one speeding ticket (and only for ten over, thankfully), though we did get pulled over for running a stop sign and again for going the wrong way on a one way street (I was very sober and the road was very tricky). Her Dale Earnhardt memorabilia may have helped us out of those two tickets, but it was also probably responsible for the speeding ticket.

Vidalia pulled a trailer for nearly 10,000 miles one spring, which she did without complaining. She has managed to live her 112,000 mile life on only one transmission, which is no small feat for a Chevy of her era. Vidalia is a 2004 Chevy Silverado 1500 Extended Cab pickup with a 5.3L engine and the Z71 offroad package. She will be sorely missed. Here are a few pictures:

Vidalia loved Dale Earnhardt because he was a hard-working man who drove like an asshole.

Vidalia once forced me to remove a piece of my new garage door in order to fit her in the garage.

She was known on rare occasions to sport a patriotic flag...

...or a tent.

 Her proudest moment was when she unexpectedly found a mob of happy, patriotic college students celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden. She gladly played Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" very loudly for them.

Though Vidalia is gone, she is not gone forever. I sold her to my parents, the ones who gave her to me (I know, I'm a jerk, but at least I gave them a great deal!). She has many miles ahead of her, and I wish her the best. Long live Vidalia and all the great trucks of Pickup Nation!