Highway Rules

Greetings, faithful readers of Pickup Nation! Although I no longer own a pickup truck (I prefer to say that I am "between trucks"), I feel that I can still contribute at least a small amount to the welfare of the Nation, especially in matters regarding vehicles other than pickup trucks.

There is currently a widespread crisis on America's highways. I have been trying desperately to determine if pickup trucks are more a part of the problem or a part of the solution. The problem is that here in these United States, on our beautiful divided highways, drivers are not driving in the correct lane! At first you may ask, "There is a correct lane on the highway?" Yes! Of course there is! And if you are one of those people who asked the question, the answer is easy for you to remember: the right lane! Right is right. Allow me to explain.

In this country we drive on the right side of the road. This means that on highways, the entry ramps are typically on the right side (away from oncoming traffic). This means that the absolute slowest moving vehicles are positioned the farthest to the right on the roadway. They have to be. Thus, the right lane is the lane where we enter and exit the highway. It is the default lane.

So if the right lane is the right lane, what is the left lane for? Well, it just happens to be the one that's "left" for passing vehicles that are moving more slowly than we would like to be moving. This is how the whole system of a four-lane divided highway works. It's as simple as that. This brings me to the problem: some drivers' default lane is the left lane!

I know what you're going to ask: what's the big deal if I drive in the left lane and you have to pass me on the right instead of the other way around? Here's the big deal. You're driving more slowly than me in the left lane. I go to pass you in the right lane. All of a sudden, there is a car on the right that is going slower than both of us - it could be a stopped car, a car that is entering or exiting, or just a car driving at or below the speed limit in the right lane. Now I, who am driving faster than you to pass you, have to deal in some way with a car that is going even slower than you are! This is not safe for any of us!

I hope this makes sense. It's supposed to be more logical than emotional. Slowest vehicles to the right, fastest vehicles to the left. That's it. And now, some violators in pickup trucks:

Please help us to keep the Nation safe on the highways. Stay to the right except to pass. Besides, it's no fun to get passed on the right side anyway.