The S-10: America's Most Customized Pickup

This post has been a long time in the making. In recent posts, we have seen the S-10 X-treme and the bumper sticker S-10. After Jake's patriotic S-10 from back in July and mine from Michigan last week, I realized it was time for us to recognize the S-10 for its service to this great Pickup Nation. So here it is: America's Most Customized Pickup. In its relatively short two-generation lifespan, the Chevy S-10 changed the order of things. Here are some of our most prominent examples:

This one was for sale, but someone snatched it up (not surprisingly!).

This S-10 is actually fast (unlike 99% of S-10's that try to look fast).

The Ford Freestyle really steals your attention in this picture, but it's a cool first generation S-10 anyway...

There's nothing that Jake and I like more than to see a good off-road truck (S-10 ZR-2) with chrome wheels and slick tires.

But this one is still my favorite custom S-10:

No, that's not bird poop on my windshield...

...it's a custom paint job that almost looks like it was a real accident!

Michigan: The Pickup State?

Last week I was in northern Michigan on vacation. The vacation was refreshing to me not just because the high temperatures were in the seventies but because Michigan is so American. Now, I don't have a (huge) problem with foreign trucks, but I can't tell you how much I enjoyed not seeing even ONE Nissan Titan during nine days in the state. (I only saw one Tundra, and the windows were all smashed in.) Once you hit the Michigan border, you just see American cars everywhere you look. In fact, the Michigan equivalent of the Honda Civic is the Pontiac Grand Prix! I thought they were all dead somewhere until I went to Michigan and realized that every Grand Prix ever made must be there, rusting away but still running. There were some great American bumper stickers, too:

There were a few more colorful ones that I couldn't capture, but these two bumper stickers show the true spirit of Michigan as well as this Pickup Nation.

Another thing I noticed is that pickup drivers in Michigan don't clean their trucks. Now, I'll admit I was slightly turned off upon discovering this, but I think I know the reason. Many of the trucks, some less than ten years old, have holes from rust, especially on the rear fenders (I have coined these "Michigan Holes"). I am thoroughly convinced that the only way to prevent Michigan Holes from appearing is to let the truck get a good, thick coat of dirt on it. The dirt serves to protect the truck from the rust much the way that mud protected Arnold Schwarzenegger from the Predator. Here are some examples:

Unfortunately, the last truck here was unable to prevent the Michigan Hole at the bottom of the door.

Now on to my favorite subject: doing work. Michigan trucks not only do a lot of work; they do nothing else! Here's a nice old Dodge (three words that don't usually go together) that looks like it's always ready to do work:

One guy does so much work with his truck that he needs two tool boxes! I would do the same thing if the alternative was putting a cap on my bed:

Look closely at this next one. One truck is doing work and one isn't, but they're moving at exactly the same speed:

On a final and decidedly awesome note, there are no show trucks in Michigan. It's simply frowned upon (as it should be) to dress your truck up like it's a Barbie doll. If you want people's attention in Michigan, you give all their attention to a worthy cause. I have never seen a truck like this in my life, but I hope to see more:

Despite the poor image quality, you can tell that this entire truck is a rolling billboard dedicated to the memory of our troops. Now that is a show truck. Long live Michigan and this Pickup Nation!

"That's what happens when you drink and drive"

Zack's post has inspired me to write about a truck I saw a couple of weeks ago. I was walking down the street past a construction site when I passed a hideous truck. By hideous I mean repulsive. I puked a little bit in my throat as I passed it, and I was struggling to think of the best way to describe this truck when the guy next to me said "that's why you don't drink and drive." No, this wasn't one of those torn up trucks that they plop down in front of a high school for a week to discourage drunk driving. This was a functional (barely) pickup truck. Well, let me correct myself: it used to be a pickup truck. Take a look at the front half and you'll see where we're going with this:

Now you may think that you are looking at the front half of a "souped-up" Plymouth Reliant from back in the day, and that wouldn't be a bad guess. Here's one for your comparison:

Ahh, what a beautiful car. Almost as beautiful as a late 90s Pontiac Grand Am. Some people just have an excellent taste in cars. But I digress.

Let's zoom out and take a look at this truck, because it is a truck. Otherwise it would have no place on this blog:

You may be wondering why the owner of this truck has left his windows wide open. Now the obvious answer would be that he doesn't want it to get too hot when he leaves it out all day in the blazing Virginia sun. But upon closer examination, we can see the real reason. Look at his door handles, or rather where his door handles should be. Hmmm. Apparently, the only way this guy can get into his truck is with the inside latches.

Why remove the door handles? To go faster, of course! Less appendages hanging on the outside makes for less aerodynamic drag. This is why he lowered his truck too (Editor's note: the placement of the front tag is critical as well. In this case, when the tag is placed on the left side of the grill at a 7 degree angle, air flow to the engine is optimized):

As I said before, perhaps there is not better discouragement for drunk driving than this truck. Like a tattoo that you accidentally get on a wild and crazy night in Cancun (and then AIDS from the needle), this truck must have been "tricked out" on some sort of week-long meth high. The pictures above don't do this truck justice, though, because, you see, the owner had to make some concessions of bed space in order to make his truck have less clearance than a factory Porsche. This took a bit of ingenuity (but judging by this guy's license plate placement, he certainly isn't lacking that):